A Letter from a Friend

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my avoidance of vulnerability and have concluded that it has been hindering my growth in all aspects of my life. I recalled a book I read years ago by Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings on Authenticity, Connection, and Courage. She had some other publications, so I decided to listen to Daring Greatly. In this book, she discusses a self-compassion researcher, Dr. Kristin Neff. She suggests readers visit her website self-compassion.org to assess their level of self-compassion and learn about ways to practice it. Needless to say, I scored low in self-compassion, high in self-judgment, and high in isolation.

No wonder I’m so miserable.

And honestly, I’ve been having a hard time lately, so I decided to try one of the self-compassion practices through writing. Despite its short existence, this piece has already helped me through my toxic self-criticism. I’ll definitely be revisiting it in the future.

Dear Angela,

It sounds like you’ve met quite the challenge this time… I know you’re someone not to back down, and this time is no different. But remember, not all problems and challenges can be solved the same way. You may have to try different approaches.

Just because you don’t initially succeed doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You are honest, resilient, and aren’t afraid of hard work. That’s how you got here. What you lack in experience, you’ve always tried to compensate for with in-depth research and creativity.

However, some experiences can’t be replaced. You are young with a whole life of experiences to look forward to. Failure is to be expected… unless you stay within your comfort zone forever. You need this to grow.

I know perfection has always been a shield to hide your shame, but it’s unsustainable. The reality is that you are human and will make mistakes.

You don’t need to be perfect.

Just get up and try again.

Keep moving forward.

You’re stronger than you think.

With love,
Angela