The Yaaas Column | Self-Worth, Fear of Failure & Price of Success
#1 Self-Worth
I’ve been kicking around the idea of “self-worth” lately. Merriam-Webster defines it as “a sense of one’s own value as a human being.” Considering it’s human nature to want to be loved, valued, and accepted, I’m surprised it’s not discussed more. The prevailing term is “self-esteem,” which depends on our abilities and achievements. And often, these become entangled with our sense of self-worth. When we succeed, our worthiness momentarily increases. When we fail, we feel worthless.
How do we reach salvation from this invisible plague? By cultivating unconditional self-worth:
“Unconditional self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive, to be loved and cared for. To take up space.”
It has nothing to do with your competence, job title, or how many friends you have. It’s embracing and accepting yourself as you are. Believe it or not, you’re allowed to be you.
So what can you do to help someone struggling with their sense of self-worth? Unfortunately, it’s an inner-demon everyone needs to battle with themselves. All you can do is continue to love and accept them as they are to make them feel seen.
Articles
- Gooden, A. How to cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth. TED Conferences. Published 2020 Nov 18. Accessed 2023 Jul 18. Available at https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-cultivate-a-sense-of-unconditional-self-worth/.
- Ackerman, CE. What is self-worth & how do we build it? Positive Psychology. Published 2018 Nov 6. Updated 2023 Apr 26. Accessed 2023 Jul 18. Available at https://positivepsychology.com/self-worth/.
#2 Fear of Failure
I recently subscribed to the Ness Labs newsletter (thank you for the recommendation, David Perell). I was pleasantly surprised by the first article in my inbox last week titled Turning Fear of Failure into Increments of Curiosity. It’s a simple article that outlines a practical approach to overcoming the fear of failure. I like it because it challenges the perspective of the fearful brain with more helpful mindsets to face obstacles.
#3 The Price of Success
What is the price of success? Sahil Bloom puts it nicely in his recent article titled The Real Price of Success. In it, he shares his model for considering the price of your ambitions, determining the Real Price (vs. the List Price), and how to decide if it’s at a price you’re willing to pay. To me, the most critical aspect of this model is determining the Real Price behind the List Price. The List Price is simple - the effort you put in to achieve your goal. What about the Real Price?
“The Real Price incorporates the price of the things you said “no” to by saying “yes” to this one thing.”
For me, I was paying the Real Price of my ambition by sacrificing my mental and physical health and letting relationships go stale. I realize my career trajectory was on a track toward something I was unwilling to pay for, so it’s time to change tracks, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s great.
